I NEED A PRICE CHECK ON HUMANITY
Thank God I was wearing a mask. It covered my mouth that was agape, hanging open in a mix of shock and pure exasperation. My brows were furrowed and my eyes were screaming, “What the hell is the matter with you?” I have had two encounters within the past month that left me wondering what in the world is the matter with people? There was only a slight difference in the events: one time, the people were cluelessly callous and the other time, the person practiced calculated inhumanity.
Everyone has been in the check-out line at the grocery store. This could not have been a new experience for the couple in front of me at my friendly neighborhood Kroger. Because every store is shorthanded, there was just one register open. The couple had two carts full of food. And, as the lone cashier scanned their food and sent it down the belt, they just stood there. They stood there and watched. Finally, the cashier had to stop checking and start bagging their order to make room for the rest of their food on the belt. They watched.
And that’s when I became enraged. If I could have barged past the clueless couple, I would have bagged their groceries myself.
Some may say, “Not my job, not my prob.” Well, you’re right, they don’t work there. Do we live in a community where we will not be helpful if we are not getting paid for it? No one likes to stand in line at the grocery store, so why wouldn’t you do everything in your power to get out of the store as fast as you could? And, even if you had all day, why would you think that the people in line also had all day to stand in line at the grocery store? Why would you watch the cashier struggle and not offer to help her?
I don’t want to live in a world where people don’t bag their own groceries. I want to live in a world where it is involuntary to step outside of your experience and try to imagine the situation from someone else’s perspective. So, when it was my turn to check out, I acted like I had done this a million times. I had my Kroger card ready and scanned it myself; I said hello; I paid with my credit card and began bagging my groceries; I said thank you. Then, I got the hell out of the store because I hate going grocery shopping and assume everyone else in line does too.
The second incident happened a few weeks later when I went to pick up a chair I had ordered and paid for online from a local discount business. I have purchased several furnishings from this business over the past five years. During COVID, the owner went to curbside pickup and online shopping. I arrived to pick up my chair. I backed my car up to the store’s garage door. I texted the number on the door. The door opened and the owner came out with a 30 x 28 box on a dolly. I put on a mask and exited my car to meet him. I asked if he could help me lift the box into the back of my car. He said, “No. We are only doing contactless pickups.” And he turned and closed the door.
He saw I was a middle-aged lady. He saw that I was alone. He had my money. He left me standing there alone along a busy street. I tried to lift the box but couldn’t get it up to the tailgate of my car. I knocked on the door to see if he could hold the chair while I went to find someone to help me load it into my vehicle. I knocked. He did not answer.
Then, I got mad. The business owner would not get COVID in the 45 seconds it would have taken to help me lift that box. Choosing to hide behind “policy” instead of choosing to be compassionate doesn’t make you any less of a jerk. I was going to get that chair in my car myself, and I would never purchase another thing from this man ever again. So, with the angry strength of the Hulk and some quick-thinking engineering, I got that 225-pound box into my car. If he was watching me from the building, he probably saw my middle finger waving as I turned left back onto the busy street.
Whether you are clueless or calculated in your inhumanity, it makes no difference. The result is the same: you leave people feeling sad and unseen. Clueless people, wake up and be present! Read your surroundings and be thoughtful of others. Calculated people, choose to be kind even if your “rules” are not being followed because your most important rule should be to help someone if they need it. There is no charge for acting with compassion.
